"Welcome back everyone! My name is Deadpool, the mercenary with the mouth canary. I feel like it’s been 80 years since our last issue. Oh no, wait… that’s just because we ran a ‘lost’ issue from the 80’s last time! Hold up — you didn’t buy it? But it was totally radical! This demon named Vestis hired me to mess with Iron Man, but I totally screwed him over and got him dragged to hell for eternal suffering! Seriously sweet stuff!"